Holiness Before Happiness: Navigating the Challenges of Christian Dating

THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON HOLINESS‼️ #Periodtttt 

The episode further unfolds the stark consequences of giving in to temptation, drawing from the story of wolves trapped by their appetites and the metaphor of a blood-stained sword. I open up about the heavy aftermath of choosing a partner hastily, including the challenging talks with my child about why her parents aren't together. It's a candid reminder of why it's vital to choose holiness over momentary pleasures. To all the women of faith listening, we offer a rallying cry for patience, personal growth, and the nurturing of community ties. With mentorship and the support found in fellowship with fellow believers, this episode is a testament to the strength that comes from perseverance in faith and patience on the journey to God's best for us.

Transcript

Importance of Purity in Dating

Speaker 1 0:01

Hello , hello , hello . How's it going Today ? I just wanted to hop on here and just share with you guys what's been on my heart . I have had the opportunity to walk is for teenagers and young people , but I just wanted to pop in real quick and just challenge that .

Speaker 1 0:37

Purity is for the believer . Doesn't matter if you are a 40-year-old virgin or a person who God's redeemed , like myself , who fell into sexual sin , got saved , got delivered from fornication and lust and now chooses a life of holiness . Purity is for the believer when you are wanting to be used by God . You are wanting to , you know , be on fire for Jesus , when you are completely giving lordship to the king , and as hard as that can be sometimes . I need for you to understand that sexual sin , no matter if it's masturbation , pornography , watching all type of crazy stuff , no matter what that thing looked like , homosexuality , no matter how perversion rears its ugly head in your life , it is foul and it is not supposed to be within the body of Christ . That's why I challenge people when it comes to kissing and dating and spending all this intimate time . Too much talk , talk , too much touch , too much togetherness . You setting yourself up for fornication and for sexual perversion . And I don't care how old you get , I don't care how long you have to wait . I understand how frustrating it can be . And you're like man Faye how long do I have to wait , my God Lord , when are you going to bring my man ? Man Faye , how long do I have to wait , my God Lord , when are you going to bring my man ? And I understand the frustration , but what you got to understand is that we can't put God on some type of timer where it's like , if God don't bring my husband by age 35 or age 40 , I'm just basically going to settle . No , we must be willing to uphold the standard of holiness . It's about holiness , it's about your heart , and God is a king .

Speaker 1 2:27

I think a lot of times we forget our positioning because we know how much he loves us and the grace and mercy he's had on us . But let's not get it twisted . Our God is a king , meaning he do what he want to do when he wants to do . He is sovereign . Meaning he move when he want to move and we can't force his hand . Yes , there's a such thing as his permissive will and his perfect will and there's grace . But I think sometimes we get real confused , especially as American people , with our , you know , for the people , by the people , and we think our vote counts In the kingdom what I realized . And we think our vote counts in the kingdom what I realized . God will take what you feel and what you have to say into consideration , but at the end of the day , he wants his perfect will fulfilled , which is you becoming more like Jesus .

Speaker 1 3:16

And I know this ain't popular , I know I didn't want to hear this when I was dating . I know this is far from culture . What culture tells us is the truth . We can get it real , real twisted . We can start to compromise . We can start to let down our standards because we start to feel like man , it ain't never going to happen . We start to get frustrated , start to get irritated , start to feel like I got to make it happen myself . But I'm a living witness . I'm here to tell you . When you try to make it happen yourself , when you try to force a relationship that's out of the will of the Lord , I'm just telling you . You setting yourself up for failure . Baby , you about to hit your head hard as a rock .

Speaker 1 3:57

I ran into so many people that I talked to about waiting and dating and I get it . Y'all understand you want , you want a companion , you want somebody to be with , you want to have sex , you want to have kids , you want all this stuff that comes with dating and relationships . But what I also want you to realize is when you do it outside of the of the will , the perfect will of the Lord , you're going to reap repercussions and you're likely going to fall for a counterfeit . What do I mean ? When I decided that I was done waiting on God , I decided , you know , I've been waiting , god promised me and so I'm just going to go get it myself . I ended up with a guy who seemed really , really nice . It was really cool for a minute , and that's usually how sin gets you . It'd be cool for a minute , it'd be sweet for a minute , until you realize that thing ain't sweet . It's literally like the story I heard when I was doing downline and , and big ups to anybody who's done downline . Um , I went through that program a long time ago y'all , I ain't gonna tell you how long , but it's been a minute and um , I graduated from that program and dr kenan bond . Um , amazing of God , he shared this story and he talked about how , I think in Alaska , how they kill wolves .

Avoiding Sin and Choosing Holiness

Speaker 1 5:11

He said they take this sword , right , and they dip it in blood and they freeze it , dip it in blood and they freeze it , and they do this over and over and over and over and over until they get like a thick coat of blood on this sword . They take the sword and they put the sword , they bear the sword with the handle in the ground and the blade up , and so the wolves begin to smell the blood . They're like , ooh , I smell blood . And they begin to go hunt for it , right . And so they're like , oh my God , it's blood , it's what they love , they just want to feast on it . They're like , oh my God , it's blood , it's what they love . They just want to feast on it like , oh my god , it's , it's like , it's like free , it's easy , it's , it's fun , it's what I like .

Speaker 1 5:48

And so , as the wolves are just so excited about this blood-dipped sword , they just licking it right , just enjoying it , just consuming the blood on it . And they , yes , they frozen the blood on it and it's dipped and it's literally like thick with all this stuff that the wolves crave . And so the wolves licking the blood off it , right , and I'm sorry y'all triggered by this , but just follow me , the wolves licking this blood off the sword , right , and this blood's been frozen and re-dipped and re-dipped and re-dipped and re-dipped and the blood on the sword is just really making the wolf just excited and he's licking it and having a good time . But at a and the sword becomes available . But the wolf , in its desire , in its craving , in its lust for that blood , unbeknownst itself begins to swallow and consume its own blood . That's killing the wolves , right .

Speaker 1 6:45

And so that's how sin is . It lures you in . It's your own desire that lures you in , and you can choose to fall , pray for that sword and begin to lick and enjoy that thirst and quench your thirst . You know , oh my God , he's so fine . Oh my goodness , he's everything I dreamed of . Oh my God , I can make this compromise . I'll make this compromise . I'll give him this time here . I'll do this . You begin to compromise and begin to let down your guard and begin to do stuff you know you shouldn't be doing , just because you want that desire in your heart so bad that you don't realize that that choice , that choice to not allow God to write your love story , that choice to go off and do what you want to do because you want to do it .

Speaker 1 7:34

Sin is something . This is something my mama always taught me . Sin costs you more than you want to pay , keeps you longer than you want to stay . You understand me . Sin costs and you don't know how long you're going to be tied into that dead relationship . You don't know what STDs you can catch , you don't know how many babies you have at a wet lot , and then you got to explain to this kid why they will never see their mom and dad living underneath the same roof .

Speaker 1 8:05

Like y'all , I have to have this conversation with my daughter almost weekly Because she's angry at the situation that me and her father chose to put her in . And I'm just talking to y'all real quick . I have to have this conversation with my preteen now . I thought I had to when she became an adult no baby . I have to sit down and explain to her why mom and dad can't be together . You know how painful . That is the person that I love the most painful . That is the person that I love the most . I am directly responsible for their personal struggles , emotional struggles because they have to choose mom and dad's house . They don't understand why mama can't be with daddy .

Speaker 1 8:44

I didn't see that when I was looking all into his eyes and all excited to be with him . I'm all goo-goo-ga-ga , all happy . I got my man . I got me a man . We're going to do it God's way . Now , how foolish is that ? You go get some mess and expect God to bless it ? That's what I did , y'all . I went out and I got that man that I wanted and I said God , I got me a man , bless it , lord . That's how some of us look . We look stupid . We go out and we find somebody that resembles what we think we want . So , you see , you don't know the heart of that person . You don't know , you can't see down the line what's going to happen . And so I'm all excited .

Speaker 1 9:21

For two and a half years , everything seemed peachy cream , seemed perfect , and then , all of a sudden , it blew up in my face . I got thrown away like I was trash , literally humiliated in front of everyone . I got thrown away like I was trash , literally humiliated in front of everyone . I'm literally just here to tell y'all straight up Holiness is a choice . It ain't going to be easy . Purity is a choice . Trusting God is a choice , and you got to really look at your heart and see why am I so tempted to rebel against what the Bible said to do ? Because I feel like I've waited too long .

Speaker 1 9:56

Yes , I'm frustrated , yes , I'm angry , but do you love God enough to wait ? Do you love God enough to trust him ? Even when you don't see his hand , you trust his character . Is that you woman of God ? Or are you still over here trying to do what you want to do the way you want to do it and you're going to try to shortcut your way into a marriage and gonna end up looking stupid ? I I hate to be so blunt , but I'm so for real .

Speaker 1 10:21

I see people that go and jump and get married . Everything seem all great and these folks end up divorced in a year or end up in a relationship that sucks , or end up even worse , just messed up mentally because they end up with somebody relationship that sucks , or end up even worse , just messed up mentally , because they end up with somebody who was a wolf in sheep's clothing , because you can only see so far . That's why you got to trust God . You got to trust God . He knows everything and I know you're frustrated , I know you're mad . I know you're like , faye , I'm almost 40 . And I'm still single , faye , I'm almost 40 and I'm still single . I'm almost 25 and ain't nobody checking for me . I get it , I understand , I've been there .

Speaker 1 10:56

But I also made the dumb mistake to go try to fix it myself , to go try to make it happen on my own , and I ended up shattered emotionally , shattered financially , shattered spiritually . Like y'all , I was shattered in every way . I was suicidal , depressed , had to take my daughter to a homeless shelter , had to sleep in the car pregnant with her , take her to the homeless shelter . I was giving birth to her , had to pee in a cup in front of complete strangers to prove I wasn't on drugs just to get a place to stay Right Like that . The cause of that choice is still . The residue of that choice still follows me today .

Speaker 1 11:38

And , yes , there's grace , yes , there's mercy , yes , god redeemed it . Yes , I got a beautiful marriage and I have beautiful children . I have a beautiful family now . But I still have to deal look my kid in the face and deal with the consequence that , because of my choice , because of what I chose to do back when my flesh was weak and I wanted a husband so bad , I was willing to compromise my walk with Jesus . I was telling God you can have lordship over everything else except this part of my life , right here Now I've got to continue to have those conversations with my daughter that she's enough , that me and her dad's breakup is not because of her . You know how great , how sad that is and then , even worse , trigger warning , just so y'all know , when my daughter's dad come over to pick her up , I look at my husband and look at him and be like dang , I had babies by both of them . Like that's embarrassing . And so I just want to challenge you , woman of God . Be better than me , be like Jesus . Stop looking around at the world and seeing all the compromises they're telling you you can make .

Speaker 1 12:40

I even saw a pastor talking about when you're 35 , do what you got to do . What ? What's wrong with you ? You don't even deserve to be that pastor . You need to be sat down because you ain't preaching Bible . You're preaching culture and some of us choosing to live by culture . But we don't live by culture . We live by the word of God and we don't live by our feelings . We live by what God told us in his word . And when you can't hear him talking to you . You can get in your Bible and read what he said long time ago , because his word don't change .

Speaker 1 13:10

And I oftentimes realize that when it seems like God ain't moving , when it seems like you let your wits end and you like man , I'm about to give up . I ain't studying this , no more . I'm about to go and do my own thing . I'm out here trying to wait and do what's right , and it's looking like everybody else who ain't even trying . They getting married , they getting money , they doing they living it up . Yeah , it looks sweet . It looks sweet , but baby , don't be fooled . Do not be fooled . God is not mocked , okay . And so I'm going to head out on this one .

Speaker 1 13:43

I know this girl , powerful , woman of God , she can be used so mightily by the Lord , chose to be in a relationship with this guy who's an unbeliever . And she was like well , god , you know God can save him . I'm going to date him and I'm just going to try to get him to say it while we date Wrong philosophy . So now she's in a relationship . Years and years went by .

Speaker 1 14:06

I'm like you really think he's going to honor your God when you disrespected your own God ? Number one , number two you really think God's going to bless that , although you are in direct disobedience because you knew what to do and you chose to do what you wanted to do . You really think God's going to bless this mess ? No , he's not . That's disrespectful , and I just really find it hard that we think God's going to put up with our crap Crap you wouldn't put up with . You wouldn't put up with somebody blatantly disrespecting you , then asking you to condone it , asking you to bless them . What's wrong with us , body of Christ ? We got to get it together , and so , if this is you , I challenge you .

Speaker 1 14:43

If you have slipped up and started having sex with your boyfriend , stop now , repent , turn , leave that relationship before it gets worse . If you are being tempted to have sex with your boyfriend , don't do it . Get yourself out of temptation . God promises in his word that he will provide a way of escape . Look for the way of escape . It's there , matter of fact .

Trust God and Remain Faithful

Speaker 1 15:04

This is a warning to you . Woe to you if you choose to move forward in that , despite what you know to be true in the word of God , and if you are sitting single , idle and you're dying . You're starting to be like man fam . I'm going to go out here and go find somebody on my own . Woe to you too . Be still woman of God , trust God . Woman of God , get in your word , begin to serve in community , begin to go connect with other sisters , connect with crown mentorship . That's what we're here for . Okay , I love y'all . Y'all are amazing . I'm so proud of you , proud of you for withstanding the temptations . I'm proud of you for taking your heart , taking your sorrows , taking your frustrations to the Lord . Continue to pour yourself out before the King . Okay , do not give up . Be better than me . I love y'all . Bye-bye .